Interesting New Research on Helping Your Spouse
This may be good news to women who exhaust themselves providing help and support and to the men who love them.
Researchers Erin E. Crockett and Lisa A. Neff studied gender differences in what support from a spouse does for our stress levels (or, in the more precise language of researchers, our cortisol slopes). Help from a husband reduced stress (increased the slope) in women. But supportive acts from a wife increased stress (flattened the slope) in men, regardless of how stressed they were otherwise or how satisfied they were with the marriage. The harm was greatest for the men who perceived themselves as worse at problem-solving.
If you're waiting for your husband to need you or to appreciate all you do for him, your expectation is not only making you miserable; it's likely making him less healthy. Do less. Enjoy him more.
And if you are a guy who wants less help or a woman who wants more, be sure to tell your spouse. We all gauge these things through their meaning for us, and this is yet another area where our experiences are likely to be different just because of our hormones.
To read more: http://spp.sagepub.com/content/4/2/190.abstract?etoc
Wishing you many loving moments this Valentine's Day!