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Strengthen Your Marriage with a Video?

Positive psychology researchers continue to study what we can do to lead more enjoyable lives. Martin Seligman tells us we flourish by adding Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning and purpose, and Accomplishment (PERMA) to our lives.

I would like to look at these to learn how we can enjoy being married over the next few days.

Positive emotion comes from remembering our past, enjoying our present, and looking forward to our future. Philip Zimbardo tells us research reveals an optimal mix of these: a moderate amount of time seeking physical or mental pleasures in the present, a bit more looking forward to a positive future, and even more reliving the happiest parts of our past.

If you are currently striking out on enjoying the present with your husband or wife, thanks to his or her depression or work stress, what can you do? You probably already figured out one option. You can find others to have a good time with. Having a good time makes us a lot more approachable when our mate has a spare moment.

Zimbardo gives us another, one that holds us close to the person we married. We can relive special moments from our past or picture those in our future. Bring out the scrapbooks and photo albums or create a new keepsake: a printed book, a blog, or a video collage. The act of making it will improve your wellbeing and very likely strengthen your marriage bond. Some day, it may also become a treasured memento for your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Comments

This post is so timely. My husband, Jim, has been digitalizing twenty something years of photos that chronical our life together. I've recently picked up my writing after not touching it for several years. Right now, I'm writing about our time in graduate school. This morning I finished the account of our first night spent together. When Jim read that part he burst out laughing. It was so cool to hear his delighted laughter when he got to that part. He often asks when we did something or other so that he can properly tag the photos he's been scanning. And now, when in the midst of my writing, I can't remember something, we have fun remembering together. Our chats, while we're trying to remember things, are giving a new depth to our lives together. Thanks for this post. Looking forward to others along the same lines.

Thanks, Sue. I promise more along these lines soon.

I like the idea of creating, together with my husband, a new keepsake from old photographs & memories. Thank you for sharing it!

This is an excellent idea. I would also suggest making an "our story" slideshow and making an event out of watching together. I have done a "through the years" slideshow for a friend from before they were engaged to now and the husband nearly cried. Gives you a "my life flash before your eyes" experience without having the near death experience.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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