Assume Love (TM): How to have a happier marriage without waiting for your spouse to change (daisy logo)

« Away from Her | Main | Why Be Married? For the Future »

What Do You Need?

Are there things you need but aren't getting from your spouse? More encouragement? A bigger bank account? A little private time? Someone to really listen when you talk? Before you let needs ruin your marriage, try this little test.

1. If you wake up tomorrow to learn your spouse died overnight, will you still need it?

2. If so, must you remarry in order to get it?

3. If so, will you be willing to marry someone who doesn't love you just to get it?

If your spouse isn't the one responsible for your need, if it's not something you can get only from your spouse, and if it's not worth a loveless marriage, the best way to keep the love alive in your marriage is to stop blaming your spouse and start involving him or her.

What's the difference? Blaming starts with "You don't..." or "You won't..." Involving starts with "Will you help me think of some ways I can..."

Post a comment

Your comment will appear only after Patty confirms it's not spam. Thanks for your patience, and bah humbug to those who submit all that junk for making good folks like you wait.

The Author

Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

Follow Us

Enjoy Being Married

Grow Your Marriage Award 2011 from The Generous Wife
2011 Hot Marriage Blog Award © Liufu Yu |


Creative Commons License

This weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Powered by
Movable Type 3.35
TM Assume Love is trademark of Patricia L. Newbold