My first husband and I did this entirely by accident, and now I highly recommend it, even though he did not survive to enjoy the date, and I am happily remarried to someone very different. Who will celebrate with you? It’s likely your parents and perhaps even some of your siblings and friends will be gone by then. Do you (both of you) picture being surrounded by children and grandchildren...
Personally, I think the best time to get married is when you’ve met another human being of good character and seen them in action in multiple situations where respect, caring, commitment, humility, fairness, patience, or playfulness are called for, and you really like what you have seen. That usually takes a year or more. Occasionally, in very trying times, it can happen more quickly. Love...
I’ve been asked what to look for when choosing a spouse. Which relationship is likely to last longer, one with someone similar to me (same race, culture, language, education, hobbies, lifestyle) or someone different? The answer has a lot to do with Expectations and how well you handle them. The more alike you two are, the more your expectations about marriage will turn out to be valid...
This weekend, I witnessed the spectacular end of a couple living together. She had been trying to make it through the end of the lease, despite knowing she was done with her overbearing, abusive boyfriend. Fortunately, she and her children left with only emotional scars. It made me think about this sea change since I was a teen. Back then, almost everyone got married within a few years of high...
There’s a new study out of UCLA making the media rounds. Doctoral candidate Justin Lavner and his psychology professor co-authors, Thomas Bradbury and Benjamin Karney, conclude that having doubts or hesitations about getting married increase the odds you will divorce within the first four years of marriage. They report that “wives who had doubts about getting married before their...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
