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The 2 Scariest Marriage Questions

We're all affected by at least one of them, at least some of the time.

Scary Question 1: Are you trying to change me?

Scary Question 2: Are you thinking of leaving me?

The first one may be asked instead as, "Do you no longer respect who I am? Do you no longer trust my choices, my goals, my values?" The second may be asked as, "Why have you stopped doing the romantic, loving things you did to attract me to you?"

The big, big problem is that while we're silently stewing over one of them, our outward behavior tends to push that person we love to worry about the other.

When we ask ourselves whether our husband or wife has grown disinterested or might be cheating, we start asking more about what he or she is doing at every moment of the day. And when this leads your spouse to feel distrusted, disrespected, not good enough for you anymore, he or she withdraws to avoid your disdain or suspicion, leaving you feeling even more anxious about an imminent end to your marriage.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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