ArchiveMarch 2014

If Your Husband is Oblivious to How Unhappy You Are

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When you’re unhappy, it hurts even more to realize your husband does not notice. Eventually, you may begin withdrawing from the relationship, hoping for a response or perhaps just some time to think. Eventually, you might start thinking about separation or divorce. You may think you’re headed for an amicable divorce. By the time you tell him you’re ready for one, he’s...

Assume Love and Save the Day

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Yesterday was one of those days for me. Nothing seemed to go right. I lost all my self-confidence. I couldn’t think of anything to write about for you. And, as usually happens when I lose my self-confidence, I invented things my husband ought to do to save me from my misery. (At least now I deal with them right away before sharing them or letting them rot into resentment.) So it was pretty...

Why Be Married? For the Stress Relief

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Some very surprising research results were reported last month. They offered some pretty strong evidence of a real difference between marriage and living together. And it doesn’t come from the marriage license or the religious ceremony. It comes from thinking of yourselves as married. The research was reported at the 2014 annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology...

Man Up and Grab a Broom

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Sometimes I am just astounded at what passes for helpful advice regarding marriage. In yesterday’s The Globe and Mail from Toronto, their advice columnist answered a letter from a woman married 35 years and on the verge of retirement. She wrote: At dinner the other night he said, “I can hardly wait to retire.” With that I said: “Me too. I am tired of doing all of the house...

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How Boring is Your Marriage?

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Sometimes, marriages get boring. Your interactions are all routine and without thought. You’re both just trying to get through the day. You may even go days without eating together or having sex or saying more than “please pass the salt.” It’s never a good idea to ignore a boring marriage. Almost any excitement from outside your marriage — a flirtatious member of the...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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