Adventure-Seekers Who Marry Comfort-Seekers
If you are an adventure-seeker, someone who loves to try new things and test your nerves whenever you can, you may find yourself attracted to and then married to your opposite, a comfort-seeker.
At some point, you may think you married the wrong person, that you have nothing in common with this person and would be better off with another adventure-seeker.
But there is a reason we're attracted to our opposites. We just need to learn how to stand their opposite-ness, maybe even gain from it.
A pair of adventure-seekers will probably get out of the house more often and try more new things. However, they won't see eye-to-eye on what's an adventure and what's more foolishness than adventure. While they might both get excited about skiing out of a helicopter down virgin snow, one might think taking salsa lessons in Miami would be a great next adventure while the other has no interest in dancing except with Asian villagers who have just fed them the lamb's eye or some dung beetle soup.
A comfort-seeker will not challenge your self-image as an adventurous person. A comfort-seeker also will not leave you worrying about their safety.
When you come home from an adventure with a fellow adventure-seeker, you toss a coin to see which of you will throw some sheets on the bed so you can rest your weary muscles or bruised joints. If you live with a comfort-seeker, it's likely there will be somewhere to unwind in warm water, a delightfully cushy, already made bed to sink into, and delicious things on hand to eat. If you haven't ticked off this mate of yours, there may also be something more comfy than a wetsuit or tuxedo to change into.
After a string of "no thank you's" to your invitations to try the local Ghanan restaurant, hit the rock-climbing wall after work, and go tent camping, you are likely to stop noticing how nice things are for you post-adventure. You might even start fantasizing about a partner who shares your excitement for these activities. But there is something better to try.
Find ways to make adventure more comfortable. Do the research to find an exotic restaurant where your spouse will feel comfortable with the service, the ambiance, and at least a couple of the menu choices. Think of an activity to pair it with that will enchant your mate. If it goes well, return a few times until it feels comfortable. Then you can suggest other places with now-familiar dishes and more options for you to explore.
The rock-climbing wall might look great to you, but if it's not your mate's cup of tea, find a friend (or make a friend) who will challenge you to climb higher or faster and follow your rock-climbing with some special time with your spouse, whether it's a standing date for sex, a night out at a comfy, familiar restaurant, or just a TV show you both enjoy and make a point to watch together. Bring your great mood from climbing home with you, so you both look forward to it.
Want to go tent camping together? It's likely your comfort-seeker cannot imagine it being comfortable. But that's your challenge, and you like a challenge. One fellow I know took to heart his lady's objection that she would need a U-Haul trailer to bring the things she needs to start the day right on a camping trip. He provided one. When I headed up a den of Cub Scouts, we went family camping with all of the kids and some of the parents in tents and the rest in rented trailers with air conditioning.
If you do such things, when it's time to take a hotel vacation, you just might find your comfort-seeking spouse looking for places to get pampered and try new challenges. And he or she might feel safe enough to try some of them. And there is a good chance some of them will be challenges you never thought of trying, ones that expose you to different transcendent moments than mountaintops offer or to understandings you will not find in any competitive activity.
And should you ever go too far and need to rebuild your health after one of your adventures, a loving comfort-seeker is just about the best companion you could ever have. Especially if you have avoided mocking comfort to justify your adventure-seeking.