Not All Your Problems Are Marriage Problems
I learned this the hard way. My first husband dropped dead with no warning when he was just 35, making it quite clear how few of the problems affecting the two of us were marriage problems.
What's the difference? The marriage problems go away when your marriage partner dies or after all the dust settles from your divorce. The others, the ones that remain, were never about your marriage. Not enough money to live the life you want? Not a marriage problem. Not enough time for all the chores you consider essential without more help from your mate? Not a marriage problem. Want to do something new that will take some courage to try and your spouse isn't interested? Not a marriage problem.
If it wouldn't end when your spouse's life ended today, it's not a marriage problem. It's just a problem. One for you to solve for yourself. And having a husband or wife means you've got a support system, with very different strengths, to help you come up with a way solve it.
If you make the mistake of telling your mate you've figured out how he or she could--and therefore must--solve it for you, you add a marriage problem to your other problem. And when you wake up the day after your husband dies, it will be crystal clear which problem was which and how badly you robbed yourself of the enjoyment of being married.