How to make yourself unhappily married: expect anything other than love. Say you expect to hear “I love you” or “You look great today.” Lots of husbands and wives say such things, but yours doesn’t. Does this mean you are not loved or not admired? Probably not. But if you believe it does, you are going to be unhappy. You may be married to one of the millions of...
Why Can’t You See This My Way? – Part 3
In Part 3 of this series, I want to address a comment added to Part 1. I want to address it because I remember thinking like the commenter around a dozen years into my first marriage, and it kept me from fixing my marriage or even believing it could be fixed. Here’s the first part of the comment, which Matt wrote but so many others could have, too. Well, since this IS the assume love...
Why Can’t You See This My Way? – Part 2
This post is a continuation of Wednesday’s post, in which I asked what Janice should do next. She triggered an emotional outburst from her wife, Katy, with the question, “How much interest are we making on our savings account this year?” The Votes are In Here’s what you thought Janice’s best next move would be : 1 reader chose Defend her question as an innocent one...
Why Can’t You See This My Way? – Part 1
Janice asks, “How much interest are we making on our savings account this year?” It’s a simple question, but the reply from her partner of 13 years and now her wife could inadvertently start World War III. “I don’t recall. But why do you care? You asked me to handle our finances. I’m handling them. Are you supervising me now?” The question hit a real...
Hold Onto Happy Times a Little Longer
Whether your marriage is good or bad today, I am sure you can recall times when it was happy. Perhaps on your wedding day or the day you moved into your first house. Maybe you two gave birth to a child with those tiny little fingers gripped around one of yours and a smile you just knew was real because those baby eyes were locked on yours when it happened. Happiness shows up during vacations, job...