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Am I Right?

So much of the time, when married folks say they want to take their spouse to marriage therapy, it's to answer this question: am I right?

The answer is not very helpful. Referees are useful only for deciding competitions, not for making relationships more intimate or more satisfying.

A better question is this: how can we resolve this disagreement in a way that satisfies both of us?

On the way to discovering the answer is another question: what is it that I don't yet understand that leads you to choose this option I disagree with?

Before you can ask it, you must jump the net and get on the same side, in search of a solution that is neither of your first two options but delivers the important outcomes each of them would achieve.

Find Third Alternatives. Then you're both right. Better yet, you're both happy with the outcome and with each other.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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