What If You Changed Your Definition of Fair?
If you changed your definition of fair, how would it change your marriage?
What if you decided dish washing, lawn mowing, meal preparation, shopping, laundry folding, and oil changing don't belong in your definition of fair? Without them, how fair is your marriage?
What if you decided earning money has nothing to do with how fair your marriage is? Disregarding your incomes, your efforts to find a better job (or any job), how fair is your marriage?
What if you decided to measure how fair your marriage is on just one measure? And what if that measure was your spouse's love language, whether that is touch, gifts, acts of service, quality time, or affirming words? How would the balance of giving and getting look if you did this?
Does your definition change on its own? Is it focused on chores when you really do not want to tackle the next one? Does it switch to pleasure when you're wanting sex or a back rub that doesn't lead to sex?
Yours is the only definition of fair creating your feelings of resentment or of being blessed from whatever is happening in your marriage. What if you decided to change it, on a trial basis, for the coming weekend?