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Rose-Colored Glasses and Marriage

If you Assume Love when upset by your mate and you Expect Love to show up in forms you never dreamed up, you will inevitably overlook one or two of your spouse's failings.

You won't overlook crushing debt or being shoved or burned with a cigarette, but you might overlook an unkind word intended as an insult. You might overlook a missed anniversary or a failed promise to pick up your dry cleaning or be home by 7:00. You might even overlook a brief affair if it eventually brings you closer and more certain you want each other.

You will most likely think more highly of your husband or wife, because your attention will be on his or her strengths and loving acts, instead of analyzing whether you are getting all you deserve or tiptoeing around to make sure you won't be left.

And while it might give you an overly positive view of your husband or wife, this is perfectly normal, nothing to worry about. Research shows happily married people tend to have an even better impression of their mate than their mate's closest friends do. So enjoy!

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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