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Is Your Husband or Wife the Right One for You?

If you are trying to answer this question, I can help. This is how to tell if the person you married is the right one for you.

Stop expecting anything but love. Watch who emerges.

If you are with the wrong person, it is not likely some right person awaits your desertion of the wrong one. If this is the wrong one, all the chores, all the bills, all the parenting responsibilities, all the social obligations, all the instigation of recreational activities fall on your shoulders. Take them on without complaint.

If this is the wrong one, it falls on you to find people who want to have long conversations, shop, attend political dinners, attend religious services, or go fishing with you. Go find them.

If this is the wrong one, the gifts, affirming words, or helping hand you want will need to come from friends or relatives. Cultivate your relationships with the ones who might provide them.

Now make time to spend with your wife or your husband in which you expect only love, as you did when you first fell in love. Over several months, you will find your answer.

You will be filled to overflowing with love, or you will know this person (and, coincidentally, almost anyone you found tempting while you had all those unmet expectations) is wrong for you. The odds lean heavily toward rediscovering love, so give it a try.

Comments

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My standpoint though, is that we can love until our hearts overflow but without the eventual reciprocation, or mutual respect that a true partner returns, we're no longer actually in a relationship anymore.

Behavior (choosing love) can be changed, but it has to be done on their own accord. If they choose not to, we have to realize that is not of our making (if we hold up to our end of the partnership). It takes two votes to create a relationship, only one to end it.

I agree with a lot of your sentiments here, though. Love is an action and a feeling - something we can practice and do (over and over again). Most people forget this, stop trying, give up, and exit way too soon. With a little effort and discipline, most relationships can be saved and salvaged.

Another great truth is that we can learn be happy on our own, we have to be, or else we cannot be happy with another.

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Your comment will appear only after Patty confirms it's not spam. Thanks for your patience, and bah humbug to those who submit all that junk for making good folks like you wait.


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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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