The on/off cycle of love from an abuser can mess with your mind. Which is real, the over-the-top words of affection or the underhanded, life-threatening acts of violence? If your mate still loves you, both. And he or she can control one of them, not the other. No one who loves you will assault you intentionally. Think about this. No one who loves you will assault you intentionally. Assume Love...
What to Do When You Stop Loving
Last March, I answered this question on Quora: If you are married with a kid, but you and your wife do not love each other, what should you do? My answer: Love your kid’s mother. It’s the greatest gift you could ever give your child. Regardless of your emotions toward her, be as generous, forgiving, caring, brave, fair, trustworthy, nurturing, helpful, complimentary, and welcoming as...
I’m Dying to Tell You About Something
This arrived today as a comment, but it’s too good to be hidden away like that. It’s written by a regular blog reader who calls herself Roodle. It made my day, and I think it will give a lot of hope and wisdom to others hoping to get married. Hi again, Patty. I’m dying to tell you about something that’s happened in my life, largely due to your blog. I’m in my mid...
Is Financial Irresponsibility Grounds for Divorce?
A reader asks how to help a newlywed friend. She’s paying the bills, keeping careful track, budgeting for every predictable expense. He’s running up unexpected bills, failing to warn her what they will owe this month or to turn over needed paperwork on time. And it’s drowning her in distress. Can this marriage be saved? Can she live with a man like this? Of course she can. How...
Why Be Married? Not Alone for Our Own Happiness
“After the open-air meeting the procession reformed and marched back to the chapel, which was filled to the door with a crowd that waited impatiently for the service to begin. The chapel was decorated with evergreens, roses, wedding bells and flags. A solid bank of white and green was before the altar. Above, a huge wedding bell of flowers was suspended. Before the ceremony Mrs. Stillwell...