Fear drives out love. That tense knot in your chest keeps your heart from melting when it should.

Disagreements create fear, both fear of needing to give up being yourself to stay married and fear of losing the kindnesses, respect, shared moments, courage, and teamwork that marriage offers.

Third Alternatives end the disagreement, end the fear, and let love flow. One of the best ways to stay in love is to look for them for every disagreement, getting lots of practice before a big difference of opinion threatens your love.

Third Alternatives begin with, "I want you to have it." They end with each of you at least as happy with the agreed-upon Third Alternative as with your first one.

I want to hear about your successes with finding Third Alternatives. I also want to help if you are searching for an elusive Third Alternative. I read all comments, and I love to brainstorm and to applaud success.