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Bad Days Happen in Every Marriage

When I get upset with my husband, I sometimes come to Assume Love to remember what I'm supposed to do about it. Here are two of the quotes I find very helpful.

Twice now, I have been blessed to have love in my life. Love includes some side benefits that lighten the load of living, but when we specify which ones with our expectations, I've learned we drive away the love. [August 2006]

Your spouse may well be the single most important person in your life. If you can't get him or her to agree with you, it feels scary. If you're human, you withdraw from your spouse to reduce the fear or you argue louder to get the agreement you need to feel safe.

So, how do you skip all the usual pain?

Jump sides and, TOGETHER, look for the Third Alternative that gives both of you everything you like about what you're arguing for and nothing of what you're arguing against.

In other words, win every argument, and be a hero to your spouse at the same time. [January 2009]


I hope they help you through your bad days, too.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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