It's Disgustingly Normal to Disagree
Married couples disagree. The ones who stay married the longest disagree just as much as the ones who divorce.
Disagreements become angry battles or festering resentments only when you fall into the trap of thinking a disagreement requires a choice between your two points of view.
You start out thinking Option A vs. Option B. If you argue for Option A or Option B, you lose. Jump the net instead. Offer your mate all the desirable benefits of both options and none of the feared negatives of either. Find the Third Alternative.
How? First, you must find out which benefits of A and B each of you find desirable and which you fear. Skip this step, and you'll be tossing around alternatives for weeks. You have to ask. You have to be ready to hear the answers and treat them all as a given for your Option C.
Once you know the specs, you brainstorm. Together. Without critiquing each other. Just create ideas, the wilder the better, until one matches your specs.
A simple example, the toothpaste cap: on or off between brushings? Whichever side you're on, what are the benefits you actually enjoy from doing it your way? Include only the ones that really matter to you, not the ones you would pull out for an advertising campaign. And what truly distresses you about the other way?
If you're a cap-off person, imagine your mate has a phobia about bugs getting into the toothpaste. No chance at all of any bugs in the toothpaste is the design spec, along with all the things you like about keeping the cap off.
If you're a cap-on person, imagine your mate simply cannot tolerate tiny twist caps and will come to bed miserable and start off every day in agony after twisting that cap. No twisting goes in your design spec, along with whatever matters to you about keeping the cap on.
In your comment, list as many ideas as you can come up with to keep both of you happy, feeling in control of your bathroom, and certain you are loved and respected by your mate, at least on this issue.
Got three or four ideas already? Tomorrow I will tell you how to come up with even more. But first I want to hear your great ideas. Please post them in the comments. Thanks!