How often do your fears keep you from seeing what’s really going on in your marriage? Fear of debt can turn your husband’s generosity or normal risk-taking into a sign you’re unloved or unsafe. Fear of being alone can force the two of you into activities neither of you has any real enthusiasm for, until you’re both married to low-energy, unenthusiastic people. Fear of abandonment can lead you to minimize your spouse’s accomplishments, even though your support and encouragement is the real glue that will hold you together. Fear of doing the wrong thing can keep you from selecting any gift for a wife who sees gifts as proof of your feelings for her.
When you feel the fear, assume love immediately. Ask yourself how you’d see the situation if you knew for certain that the wonderful person who committed his or her life to you remains every bit as wonderful, in love, and committed to your wellbeing.
Oh Say Can You See?
O
