ArchiveApril 2006

Dating? Don’t Assume Love

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My advice to Assume Love applies only in a marriage or another relationship in which both partners have made a commitment to the longevity of the relationship. Until then, it might be wise to Assume the Worst. When you assume love, you deliberately seek out evidence of your mate’s love for you. Any actions with an ambiguous cause you can safely attribute to love because you have a partner...

You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore

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I’ve just finished reading You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One by Steven Stosny, PhD. What a great resource for anyone in a marriage where they are walking on eggshells! Stosny, a psychologist who runs programs for abusive men, credits his abused mother for suggesting the core of his...

The “Isn’t My Spouse Awful” Game?

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Before I started assuming love, I engaged in the very popular “Isn’t my spouse awful?” game, as both instigator and player. To get it started, you ask your sister or people at work, or maybe even the stranger seated next to you on the bus, to confirm that there’s something terribly wrong with your spouse. You plead with them to agree that you’ve married someone...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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